Really wishing I could say that we are having an awesome holiday weekend, but it's not so. We always try to have a fun Labor Day weekend - a last hurrah of the summer. It's not meant to be this year.
My Dad is in the hospital (and has been for the past 5 days) with major back problems. He slipped a disc and couldn't walk. They've been doing some tests, trying to help him manage the pain with meds and rest, and help him overcome the issue. But he's in awful pain that isn't going away. They are talking about him having back surgery on Tuesday. I'd imagine we'll find out more tomorrow.
Unfortunately, surgery is no small deal for my Dad, with all of his other health issues, especially his weakened heart. The thought of it is frightening, but there's no way he can continue to live with the pain he has. This isn't living as it should be. Please pray for my Dad that he would be healed of this problem. And if he would need surgery, please pray that it would be successful, and that he'd be brought through the surgery without any problems.
And with all of this going on, my Mom has developed some concerning health problems. She is waiting until Tuesday before she calls her doctor, because she does not want to see the doctor at the walk-in clinic (very bad experience there about a week ago and she doesn't have any faith that they will help her). She won't be convinced by any of us to give it a try again. We are doing what we can to help her while she waits for Tuesday and are keeping a very close eye on her. But this, too, is scary and difficult to watch.
We've spent lots of time on what should have been a nice holiday weekend running back and forth to the hospital. Caring for our parents and their needs. Doing whatever we can to help in any way we can help. Trying to be sure they are OK. And I am not complaining in the least. It's just very hard. I'd do anything for them. I wish I could do more.
Feeling bad that my folks are in pain and not well. Feeling bad that they've missed a beautiful weekend outdoors. Feeling bad that they are facing these challenges. Feeling bad that they aren't enjoying this holiday weekend together doing something fun, taking a drive together, grabbing an ice cream cone, sitting with their windows open and enjoying the last-of-summer breezes. Just feeling bad about it all.
And here I sit on one hand, feeling guilty that I am not spending enough quality time with my kids and leaving much of that to my husband. Then on the other hand, when I am with my husband and kids doing whatever we are doing (or anything Remotely fun), I feel guilty that I am not with my folks. Or when we ARE having a fun moment, I feel guilty because I am having a good time, and my other family members are hurting. And having Real fun is just not even possible when someone you love is in pain. It's not fair. Guilt is a nasty thing.
Wishing with all my heart that my parents were OK. Please say a prayer for them, if you are one that prays.